Tonight: Part 2 of the most insane Real Housewives episode ever!!!
We jump right back into it, bringing up the night at the Brownstone. Naturally, Danielle blames everything on Kim G…except for Danny calling Christopher a f*****that was editing’s fault. Good thing, Teresa is there to egg Andy Cohen on, asking if he was offended. We get off topic and everyone claims that Danielle stalks them. She probably does. Despite claiming that she has better things to do with her time, we all know she doesn’t.
Jacqueline has really found her voice this reunion and continues to berate Danielle for doing drugs and sleeping with married men. I feel proud of her because she usually keeps her mouth shut in front of people. Danielle storms off stage and makes lesbian comments to be sure the camera stays on her. Once again, Andy Cohen has to give a lesson on how to stay seated and Danielle finally returns.
We finally get to my favorite topic, Dina! Delusional Danielle is convinced that she is not the reason that Dina left the show. She is. And that’s the end of it. What? No more talk about Dina?! Well, I guess we had to get to Ashley at some point.
Danielle pretends that she did not confront Ashley on Facebook. She also doesn’t remember when she tweeted that she hoped someone’s birthday wish of Ashley killing herself came true. That’s appropriate. In the end Danielle sort of apologizes (?) and we move on to the hair pull heard round the world. Luckily, for those who do not understand extensions, Danielle has brought a hair model. Caroline can hardly contain herself.
Kim G’s time has finally come! And girlfriend had some work done for sure. Caroline temporarily takes over Andy’s job (he is probably mixing up a stiff drink) and grills Kim G, who answers (almost) every question to Caroline’s liking, but she’s still not having lunch with her. Onto Teresa, who has it out for Kim G. We find out this is because of something Kim G tweeted about Teresa having no money. And just like that, her time is over.
Time for the matriarch to matriarch meeting! I’m kind of bored and wish that Teresa would assault Andy Cohen again to liven things up. This whole recap could be “topic is brought up, Danielle denies any responsibility, everyone gets mad, Andy changes subject.” Until…wait a minute? Are Danielle and Jacqueline making up? Jacqueline sure has changed her tune…but I guess Danielle has too. Tears and apologies. Boring.
HUGS? WTF IS HAPPENING? I guess Andy Cohen wasn’t kidding when he said the ending would shock us. Thankfully Caroline doesn’t give in and only shakes hands, then calls Danielle on her BS. Well, they didn’t announce Danielle’s dismissal from the show as I predicted. Bummer again.
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