In case you missed the slap heard ‘round the world last week, we get a replay right away. It’s a dark day when you see Pauly D get so angry. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head!! How dare Angelina do that to our dear Pauly!! JWoww hears yelling and, hoping this is her opportunity to beat someone up, jumps out of bed. Angelina (or as I am now going to refer to her: Danielle Staub Jr.) is now claiming that she did not slap Pauly. Hello! Just ask the cameramen, they were there! They could provide you with the footage! Anyway, now Angelina has no friends and I think she might have to sleep outside.
Daylight comes and we find JWoww, Ronnie and Vinny(!!) going to their first day of work. JWoww doesn’t get to wear stripper clothes or Ed Hardy hats, so she isn’t happy. (For the record, I do love JWoww despite her terrible taste.) Keeping in true MTV form, the new awesome supporting character is named Enzo and he owns the gelato shop. He and Vinny are even BFFs now!
Angelina decides that the best approach to her embarrassing rampage the night before is to pretend that she doesn’t remember anything and then cry. Pauly D impresses us all again by staying calm and even forgives Angelina, but of course he is not going to be your friend, sweetheart. You are a major buzz kill.
Well, we are three episodes in and we have yet to see our heroes in the barber shop. Luckily, Vinny needs a haircut and Ronnie kind of does to. Off they head to the “hood” of Miami (doubt it).
The Situation continues to prove that he is actually a real person and decides that he needs to tell the girls to try and bond with Angelina. Angelina can’t GTL with the boys everyday! She needs girlfriends! Then, Situation takes it one step further and even invites Angelina out with them. Vintage Snooki makes an appearance and Vinny is liking it. Snooki also continues to prove that she is actually a real person and pulls Angelina aside and tells her that if she just owns up to all the shit talking she did, they will all forgive her. Ah, the life of our little guidette. Now they are all friends again!
Meanwhile, Sammi and Ronnie are back to being the world’s most annoying couple. Ronnie gets drunk and Sammi just doesn’t appreciate that, so they get into a stupid fight and she storms out. I suppose we could call this vintage Sammi and Ronnie. However, as soon as Sammi is gone, new Ronnie makes an appearance and starts dancing and making out with the closest living creature. Snooki, who stayed behind at the club is put in a bad position when she witnesses everything Ronnie does. Then Ronnie pushes Snooki and now, I imagine, everyone in America hates him.
So we arrive home and get possibly one of the funniest scenes every on this show. Ronnie is sloppy drunk and then climbs into bed with Sammi (oh, that’s not the funny part). No that comes when Snooki and her hilarious hiccups drunk dial her ex-boyfriend while romantically caressing Vinny. Then she knocks over the entire table and just hangs up the phone. Then Vinny and Snooks get into bed together!!! “Wanna F***?” she asks. “Sure” he says. And what really happened, I guess we’ll never know. They both have clothes on in the morning and we didn’t get any creepy night vision shots of them making out, so I don’t think anything happened. It was great that Vinny answered the phone in the morning and it was Snooki’s boyfriend. EMILIOOOOOO.
Ronnie and Sammi spend a romantic day together working at the gelato shop, where Sammi proves she has no applicable skills in the real world. Then Ronnie makes a terrible, terrible mistake and calls Sammi his girlfriend. Poor, dear Sammi gets excited.
Nightfall comes and it’s the very first MVP night. (These boys and their acronyms!!) However, Angelina of course wants to crash. This is not AMVP pr MVPA or MAVP night, stupid Angelina. Also, it could not be any more obvious that they do not want her to come. Why would you want to go creeping with these guys anyway? Anyway MVP devises a fool-proof plan of running out the door as soon as Angelina looks away. While I thought this sounded ridiculous…but then it actually worked, so good for them! Unfortunately for MVP, the club is not packed with attractive girls…This will never stop The Situation though, he gathers up anything he can. Then we get a gross hot tub scene that I don’t really want to talk about.
We get our second hilarious scene of the show when Snooki is unable to do her job because she can’t see over the counter or reach the ice cream. It reminds me of when my brother’s dog was a puppy and he had to put his whole body into his food bowl in order to eat. Enzo continues to provide hilarious antics by repeatedly calling her “Snoookie.” Then Snooki gets up on the giant dog-camel in true Snooki fashion.
Ronnie continues to turn into the villain of show by ditching Sammi to go to the club with the guys (and Angelina, I assume). Bad move, cowboy. Once again, as soon as Ronnie gets to the club he beelines it for the most unattractive girls there.
Next week:
Everyone knows that Ronnie sucks except Sammi, so the girls write an anonymous letter? Hmm…
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