Lucky for us, we get another trailer at the beginning!!! Good, we haven’t seen this before!
Elizabeth’s hair color continues to distract me from everything else going on the show. Her and Jesse Kovacs have another annoying conversation where he realizes that he needs to start to pretend to care about her so he can, A. get some and B. not get voted off.
It’s challenge day! (Not to be confused with the Challenge Day when a group of counselors go into high schools and force students to see outside their cliques. That is way too advanced for this show.) This week’s challenge is another mindless game…a pie eating contest! Although, this is every one of these girl’s worst nightmare, as they have not eaten a meal in months! Literally, you can see the fear in their eyes. Krisily comes up with the first excuse, crying over her gall bladder being removed or something. Naturally, Tenley looks like a 5 year old eating this pie, then whines about how she doesn’t like it. Then everyone gets excited because a bucket is brought out…perfect! They can just vomit up the calories! Gia wins and all is right in the Bachelor world, as Gia is one of the few likeable ones.
Now it’s the guys’ turn! Weatherman is terrified and Craig is mostly worried about his hair…weirdly I won’t be surprised if Weatherman wins this one, I don’t know why. Then we get a bunch of lovely sound bites on how all these guys can eat so much and can eat so quickly. Such good qualities in a man…it’s a wonder I’m still single. And, once again I am right and Weatherman wins. I need a hobby. Weatherman is annoying, but it is pretty funny to see him beat these men who claim they eat for a living. Next, my sound cut out for around 3-and-a-half minutes, so I have no idea what was said.
Weatherman makes the smart observation that this place is cliquey. Gia, more intelligently, realizes who she and Weatherman need to recruit to their team of “outsiders.” For his date, Weatherman picks Gwen (her second date! Age is just a number people!), Peyton and Ashley, AKA the non-slutty girls (thus far). Who dressed Melissa Rycroft for this? Casual on the top, 6 inch stilettos on the bottom? Really? But I digress. The date is body painting or something, aka an excuse for erotic activity that the can legally show on television. Later, Weatherman pulls each girl aside for one-on-one time. This is so different from The Bachelor, as the girls don’t moan and bitch when another interrupts their alone time. I guess Weatherman is in love with Gwen, which is amazing considering he is one of the youngest guys on the show and her age is listed as ??, which I believe is code for “old”. Anyway, he of course gives Gwen the rose, which is a smart move for the outsider team.
Back at home, the “outsider” girls strategize on how to get the cool kids out of the house. They come up with the idea that Gia should give her date rose to Craig . Oddly, I have a feeling that this isn’t how this is going to go down. Then Elizabeth tries really hard to convince us that Ashley is really smart. (Ohhh that was mean, I think I’m supposed to like Ashley right now.)
Morning comes and it’s time for Gia’s date. I can’ t help but wonder if Weatherman pees his pants a little every time Gia pulls him aside to talk to him. C’mon, I doubt a swimsuit model has ever even looked in this guy’s direction. Anyway, they get in a fight because he was blinded by Ashley, who is obviously on the other team. Duh, guys.
Gia decides on Wes and Craig, and then pretends to pull a name out of a bowl, but really she just wrote Jesse Beck on every slip. The wheels were a-turnin’ in that one’s head. They were all excited until they remembered that Gia has a boyfriend, so they have no shot (as if they did before...) Gia immediately pulls Craig aside and tells him that she is going to give him the rose…I still don’t believe it. Gia is actually proving herself to be a smart girl in this episode, hopefully she doesn’t mess that up. In true Bachelor form, Wes confesses his love to Gia in and as the only insecure swimsuit model that ever existed, his compliments warp her mind, so she gives him the rose. Craig is not happy. Is this foreshadowing his elimination tonight? We shall see.
Back at the house, Elizabeth has had a change of heart from last week and tells Jesse Kovacs that she will do anything he tells her to. Then says “I’m a dumb smart girl”, can she leave? Then they make babies in the shower. With their mics on. Jessie S makes her first appearance in the show by seducing Dave in the hot tub, in hopes of not getting voted off. Could this be foreshadowing as well? Krisily, realizing that there is still a small hope that she won’t be the one voted off, immediately tattles on Jessie to Kiptyn.
Jesse B seems to have moved on from “cool-girl” Natalie to “girlfriend-material” Gia (someone else’s, he seems to have forgotten.) So, he breaks off his very serious relationship with Natalie and she is heartbroken. Gia spends the day strategizing, even though she could have avoided this by just giving Craig the rose, but to each their own.
Chris Harrison emerges wearing the most ridiculous outfit. Again I ask, who is dressing these people? Elizabeth gets mad that Tenley calls her out on being a slut, although Tenley managed to say it in a somewhat nice way. Elizabeth gets pissed, Tenley cries. Is this show over yet? Also, Natalie apparently got confused and thought she was going to her 2nd grade ballet recital and not a rose ceremony. Jessie S continues to run her mouth, which furthers my assumption that she is going home.
Ashley, Tenley, Natalie (in her tutu), Elizabeth and Jessie (after much crying) vote for Craig. Jesse Kovacs, Kiptyn and Dave vote for Krisily. Craig, Weatherman and Jesse B vote for Jessie S. So it all comes down to Wes! Who’s it gonna be?! (Probably Jessie.) Gia, Krisily, Gwen, Peyton and Nikki (kind of) decide they are going to vote for Kiptyn. Kiptyn catches wind of this and immediately find Nikki to wrack her with guilt and make her cry. I have a feeling Nikki won’t be voting for Kiptyn.
Rose ceremony time! All the people we knew would be safe are safe and all the people we knew would be voted off (Craig and Jessie S) are voted off. No shock value there.
Next week another riveting challenge…a kissing contest!! Wes finally breaks out his guitar. Gia goes back to being an idiot.
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