Previously on RHODC:
These women continue to be the most horribly drab thing that ever happened to the Real Housewives franchise.
We open with Cat and a reminder that she is writing a book. I think that is a new requirement when you join the ‘Housewives’ cast. Despite that fact that I may or may not own every piece of Bethenny Frankel merchandise on the planet, I WILL NOT be purchasing anything that comes out of the RHODC.
Stacie made the mistake of inviting Michaele to her friend’s vineyard. Seriously, do these people have to show up everywhere in a white limo? Michaele’s husband, who is more annoying than her, ruins everyone’s buzz while they are wine tasting. WTH, wine tasting is for getting wasted! Not getting technical! Michaele shares her well thought out political views, which essentially comes down to everything being red, white and blue. So wise, that one. I’m still not exactly sure if Stacie and her husband were truly inviting Michaele and her husband to Paris, but looks like they’re all going!
Three episodes in, I feel as if I am getting a better feel for these women, which leads me to my next point: I like Lynda. Yes, she told Michaele to eat a burger and fries, but that is awesome! I don’t buy that she is genuinely concerned about Michaele’s health, but that does not make me dislike her. She even feigns interest in Cat’s book! I can’t figure Cat’s life out. Her book is about falling out of love with her husband and in love with a married man…but who is Charles in all of this? I thought that had been married for a long time…? Apparently I can’t keep up.
Mary and her husband go out to lunch and he makes a Dick Cheney joke. Ha ha ha. Clever. Then they moan and bitch about Michael and Tareq are flashy and took over Paul’s party.
We finally get a scene with my favorite housewife this season, Paul! His publicist is paying him a visit to give him some news from crazy-town. Michaele’s attorney called to inform her that Tareq and Michaele will not be paying for Paul’s birthday party. Um, aren’t these people millionaires? What is wrong with them?? They couldn’t splurge on some sheet cake for a party they are hosting?!
Off to Paris! (Not for me, but God I wish.) Stacie and Michaele seem like unlikely friends, so this trip will most likely be awkward. Both Stacie and her husband (whose name I can never remember) seem to try in a polite way to tell us that they do not like Michaele and Tareq. Then they all groove together at a rap concert. Their words, not mine. The next day, Stacie and Michaele go shopping and we finally learn why Danielle Staub is looking for her birth mother…because she heard it was going to be a storyline on another ‘housewives’!!!! It all makes sense now!
Cat’s husband, a professional photographer, is too busy to take her picture for her book cover. Like Cat, I don’t exactly understand all the shopping bags and cell phone for a book about cheating on your husband, but whatever. But wait! Charles shows up just in the nick of time! Oh what a fairytale ending! A woman with a giant Louis Vuitton duffle makes far more sense for her book cover. (…)
The beauty of being on housewives is you get to go to a lot of cool parties and get your hair and makeup done by professionals. I wish this was my everyday life. However, I am thankful everyday that I don’t have to pretend to be friends with people like these. Tonight’s is with some hair stylists hosted by Mary. With goodie bags! And tension between Michaele and Lynda! And Cat’s continued distaste for American cuisine! And more accusations of racism!
Next week everyone fights. Bye!
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