We pick up right where we left off last week (and every week) with Ronnie dancing with the nastiest girls (grenades! Landmines!) in whichever club they are in, then getting their numbers.
Snooki dials up her boyfriend, who sucks, and tells her there are half naked girls everywhere around up. Don’t mess with our Snooks like that, you midget! (Yes, I have seen him in person and he is very short.) Anyway, she gets pissed and points out that things like this are the reason the lesbian rate is going up.
Sammi (who of course is in her bed. BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS IN HER BED) uncomfortably asks JWoww and Snooki is they think Ronnie is f***ing with her. They stare awkwardly and make it so obvious that they know something…but they still don’t tell her (which will be a theme throughout this entire episode). By 4AM they still aren’t home and Sammi get super pissed. Then Snooki’s boyfriend calls her back and tells her that he cheated on her. He was kidding but he is so terrible and needs to go away. C’mon Snooks, just break up with him. We know you do eventually. The angry girlfriends do what any rational females would do, and break some dishes.
Ronnie makes a smart decision for once and goes to sleep in his own bed. Well, maybe it wasn’t so smart, as Sammi is even more pissed now. Ronnie then claims that he doesn’t think he has started any of these arguments. He’s delusional. Also, he says the reason he didn’t go to college because he hates tests. Yep, I’m sure that’s the reason. Then they have the same fight they have everyday. Meanwhile, Angelina is trying to kiss Snooki’s ass. Shut up Angelina.
The next night we get our first family dinner of the season, which really just makes me hungry. Then for some reasons the women (minus Sammi) decide to put on lingerie (except Angelina, who is wearing the smallest garbage bag ever) to play a bowl of questions…which is not a game I have ever heard of. This unsuccessful game mostly just leads to questions that make everyone look at Sammi and Ronnie awkwardly. Situation hits the nail on the head by pointing out that Sammi is not stupid, she knows what is going on, she just doesn’t want to believe it. I miss Situation, why isn’t he on this show more often??
Everyone gets ready to a fun night out! LOL JK, we all know they can’t go out as a group without drama! C’mon guys! This time Ronnie and Sammi’s fight begins before they even leave for the club. He can’t help it Sammi, he hates you because he loves you so much! Don’t you get it?? I will tell the short version of what happened next: Fight fight fight. “I’m done, I don’t want to be with him. It’s over. But I have to tell him I’m leaving.” Fight fight fight. Ronnie’s inebriated.
After declaring that she was completely done and okay with it, she still takes care of his stupid drunk ass. I want to shake her. As does everyone else. Even in the morning, when he has sobered up enough to take care of himself, Sammi still gives him sympathy. SAMANTHA. STOP IT.
You know what Sammi needs to do? She needs to go out with JWoww and Snooks and bring guys home to get in the hot tub. She doesn’t have to hook up with anyone, just give Ronnie a little taste of his own medicine. Clearly, Sammi could use a friend like me.
Instead, she has friends who decide to send her an anonymous letter to get her up to speed on all of Ronnie’s trysts. They are positive she will not know it’s them, as they use the word “breasts” in the letter. All the while, Sammi has been forced by the producers to hang out with Angelina, who is feasibly the worst liar ever.
Next week, Sammi finds the letter! But who could have written it?! Shenanigans will ensue!
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