RHONJ 8.2
Previously on RHONJ
Dina is Teresa’s daughter’s godmother
Christine has her sweet 16 and Danielle and Kim G renewed their friendship, minus that Kim G really wants to be on the other team
Teresa and Joe are planning an insane Christening party for their newest daughter (I can’t remember her name, but it’s something with a lot of vowels). Watching this is so unfortunate because we all know they are auctioning off their belongings now. Maybe if they hadn’t had these huge parties they wouldn’t have to sell so much stuff. But let’s focus on the positive, DINA IS BACK! As the vowel-baby’s godmother she has to be in the episode a lot right? Joe’s opinion? Nice but not too nice. Dude, just tell someone now that you are broke!!
Danielle takes her daughter to her first OB-GYN appointment. I get this, my mother still tries to come to all my doctor’s appointments with me and I am 23 (and we live on different sides of town…) Danielle asks a series of questions that any 16 year old would find annoying, let alone one that has to answer them on camera. Hilariously, Danielle encourages abstinence. Okay, just wondering, but are they this desperate for footage that they have to humiliate this girl by showing this? Poor Christine. First she has a looney toon for a mother and now this. She gets her revenge by telling Danielle on camera that she should also get the HPV vaccination.
Christopher and Kim G’s son (I shall call him Little G) spend some brah time together. Kim G is obviously starting to dress for the camera more, she is still a mess though. We return to the plotline of Christopher and Little G being in the middle of Kim G trying to become friends with Caroline so she can be in the opening credits.
Back in Teresa’s world, the girls look super precious, but it is ruined when Gia asks to wear her “silver Juicy Couture” purse. If only they would keep their mouths closed, then I would love them. I have high hopes that this youngest Guidice baby will somehow not be a brat.
DINA!!!!!!! Please come back! This show needs you! The baby gets Gucci shoes. I feel jealous. Do you think that someday this little baby will ask Teresa why Dina is her godmother and she will have to explain that it was for May sweeps? Does anyone else feel as if Joe is going to turn into The Hulk and burst out of his clothes and start screaming? (“ME HATE PICTURES”)? Clearly, the Bravo cameras were not allowed in the Christening. Not because Teresa didn’t want them in there (we got all the home video footage we could have wanted), but maybe because the Catholic Church doesn’t look kindly upon it. The party is just as Christopher describes it, a circus. Caroline’s necklace is very distracting, seriously is it going to eat her face? (Fortunately, it is not quite as bad as that chain-strap top that Alex McCord wore is so many of her interview segments.) Thankfully, we get a shot of Nicholas (aka cutestbabyever) fist pumping.
Anyway, Danielle goes to see Kim G and talks about how their relationship is special. This is foreshadowing disaster, I am just sure of it. I have trouble believing that Kim G is still a well respected woman in the community, but I guess that is just my opinion. Danielle shares that she is going to try and look for her birth mother because, naturally, she wants to…smell her…
Danielle takes her daughters out for dinner to discuss all the hot gossip, or something. Christine’s friend apparently was told by her eyebrow lady all this stuff about Danielle, because this “eyebrow lady” also knows Teresa. She even knew about Danielle’s biological mom! But wait! Only Kim G knew about that! Uh-oh, here comes the DRA-MA. Danielle’s natural) reaction is to call her ex-con friend, Danny. (Can we verify that Kim G is currently alive?)
Kim G barrels into Jacqueline’s house and starts dropping f-bombs in front of the baby. Inappropriate! (But his outfit was also inappropriate. Seriously Jacqueline? You have the cutestbabyever, no need to dress him like a thug.) Typical Danielle, obviously did not confront Kim G about what happened, but instead sends an email to someone else telling them to no longer be friends with her. Okay, Kim G drives me nuts and she is playing both sides, but it appears as if she has finally seen the light. Camera time is not worth having to fake a friendship with Danielle.
Danny comes over to Danielle’s house to discuss the hit they are going to put out on Kim G’s life. Danielle bitches a lot, and then they leave for the big showdown, which naturally is going to take place in a restaurant. For some reason, Danielle trusts an ex-con alone with her Range Rover. Kim G explains that just because Danielle has beef with these women doesn’t mean she does. That’s not what girlfriends do! They yell at each other and everyone in the restaurant stares. Ahh, to be there. I’m pretty sure Kim G might be trying to re-enact the final Danielle/Dina scene as yet another attempt to be the new Dina. They scream some more, Kim G says Danielle has “square tits” and then it’s over.
Next week:
Joe gets arrested
Everyone goes to Italy!
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