Well folks, we've reached the finale of season 2 of JS (don't worry, we still have the reunion next week). Anyway, this may go on record as the most boring episode the show has EVER seen. A quick trip to the everglades where they saw gators and ate frog legs (which the Situation casually vomited up on the ride home).
On the gang's second to last night in MIA Pauly and Vinny go on dates with their wifeys (not sure if their is a correct spelling of "wifeys") and Sammi and Ron went on another of their extremely annoying dates that OF COURSE ended in a fight. Don't worry guys, they made up four hours later at the club. Also four hours later at the club? Two gross looking women propositioned Vinny for a threesome, which he turned down because he is in l-o-v-e. The Situation wasted no time swooping in and taking his place. I have no desire to know what occurred in that bathroom stall.
On their last night in the house the gang decides it would be a good idea to pick superlatives for one another (although none of them could come up with the word "superlative". Also, Pauly asked how to spell "likely"). This, of course, turns into a disaster when Jenni says Mike is the fakest (most fake, people, come on!) Situation waits for Jenni to go to the bathroom before he declares her the fakest, to which some people may or may not have nodded in agreement with.
Snooki wastes no time telling Jenni what happened. When Jenni goes to confront everyone, Pauly completely loses his cool! I mean there were veins popping out from everywhere! Pauly, who are you!? This is not my lovable Pauly! There is lots of screaming and lots of whining from Snooki, but eventually everyone makes up. Well, Sammi still apparently hates everyone, but who really cares.
Also, a crow appears to the departing crew. A truly bad omen? I guess we'll just have to wait and see...(and by that I mean, wait until January 6, when season 3 premieres. I'm serious. We only have to wait 2 months this time.)
Showing posts with label Jersey Shore Season 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jersey Shore Season 2. Show all posts
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
10.7 Jersey Shore: Um, can I get one of those margaritas?
Dear 4.5 people who regularly read this blog. I must offer my sincerest apologies for last week's JS post. I was DEATHLY ill last week and still tried to get my post up, it was awful. I know. I am sorry.
Anyway, this week we get our first Angelina-free episode and, well, it was mostly boring. Let's catch up with our lovable guidos and guidettes.
This was really Snooki's episode. We met her friend Ryder, a taller version of Snooks, who feasibly had the worst trip of her entire life. Both nights they went out Snooki got into a fight with Situation, which couldn't have been fun for Ryder. However, Snooki really shined when she sincerely apologized to Sam for the note and just wanted to put all the drama behind her. And how could we forget her attempt to rescue one of the lobsters the boys were going to cook. "I'm not sure what lobsters eat, but I think they eat like insects or something. So I was going to feed them, like, worms."
It's nice to finally see Pauly calling out the Situation. He is not a good friend nor a good wingman, so I like that Pauly seems to want less and less to do with him.
JWoww didn't really do much this episode, except halfheartedly apologize to Sam for the note. And mostly run her fingers through her hair nonstop. This scene could have been something straight out of the hills. One person says something, no one responds, the camera shows each person staring off into space.
Vinny finally got his date with Ramona and this made me happy for him. He even packed a picnic and played with her stupid dog! Yay Vinny!
Sam needs to just forgive Jenni. I really do want to like Sam, but the fact that she won't even look at Jenni when she apologizes drives me crazy. However, it was good to see her immediately forgive Snooki. Baby steps.
Ronnie wasn't in this episode. At all. Oh, except when he called out Sam for making out with Situation when she met him. That was genius.
And finally, we reach The (uber creepy) Situation himself. He must have figured with Angelina gone that someone had to step up and be the biggest bitch. Or perhaps he has roid rage. I suppose we'll never know. But slapping Snooki on the face AND trying to steal Vinny's girl in one night? Get over yourself bud.
Anyway, this week we get our first Angelina-free episode and, well, it was mostly boring. Let's catch up with our lovable guidos and guidettes.
This was really Snooki's episode. We met her friend Ryder, a taller version of Snooks, who feasibly had the worst trip of her entire life. Both nights they went out Snooki got into a fight with Situation, which couldn't have been fun for Ryder. However, Snooki really shined when she sincerely apologized to Sam for the note and just wanted to put all the drama behind her. And how could we forget her attempt to rescue one of the lobsters the boys were going to cook. "I'm not sure what lobsters eat, but I think they eat like insects or something. So I was going to feed them, like, worms."
It's nice to finally see Pauly calling out the Situation. He is not a good friend nor a good wingman, so I like that Pauly seems to want less and less to do with him.
JWoww didn't really do much this episode, except halfheartedly apologize to Sam for the note. And mostly run her fingers through her hair nonstop. This scene could have been something straight out of the hills. One person says something, no one responds, the camera shows each person staring off into space.
Vinny finally got his date with Ramona and this made me happy for him. He even packed a picnic and played with her stupid dog! Yay Vinny!
Sam needs to just forgive Jenni. I really do want to like Sam, but the fact that she won't even look at Jenni when she apologizes drives me crazy. However, it was good to see her immediately forgive Snooki. Baby steps.
Ronnie wasn't in this episode. At all. Oh, except when he called out Sam for making out with Situation when she met him. That was genius.
And finally, we reach The (uber creepy) Situation himself. He must have figured with Angelina gone that someone had to step up and be the biggest bitch. Or perhaps he has roid rage. I suppose we'll never know. But slapping Snooki on the face AND trying to steal Vinny's girl in one night? Get over yourself bud.
Monday, October 4, 2010
9.30 Jersey Shore: Angelina gets in a fight with...everyone
So once again I'm way behind on this recap, so instead of my usual, let's just catch up with each of our heroes.
Sammi wasn't in this episode, so I have nothing to say. Oh, but she and Angelina aren't friends anymore.
Snooki was mysteriously missing for the first half of this episode. Could this have been when she was allegedly hospitalized for alcohol poisoning? Hmm, #thingstoponder. However, she made her triumphant return in the second half of the episode and made it well worth the wait. First, she spent her "shift" at her "job" making a lists of things she likes (Guido Juicehead Gorillas, huge earrings, Ed Hardy), things she hates (Boys/jerkoffs/fame whores, hangovers, people) and who her ideal guy would be (tan, Guido Gorilla Juicehead, pays for meals etc.) She also may have let it slip that she was on match.com. Amazeballs. Finally, in one of my favorite moments of the season, she ripped out her earrings and laid the beat down on Angelina. Good work this week Snooks.
Vinny, like Sammi, wasn't much of a presence this episode. But let's talk about how each week he and Pauly become a cuter and cuter bromance.
Ronnie has been noticeably absent ever since he stopped three-way kissing gross women, but taking the role of announcer upon himself for Angelina and Snooki's fight made up for that. "Standing in one corner, four-foot nine-inches, two inches with the pouf, Nicole Snooki Polizzi. Standing in the other corner, at 322 pounds, the Staten Island Dump" Well played, Ron Ron.
Pauly was as adorable as ever as the house alarm clock and narrator of all events. Can't wait for your spin off Pauly!!!
Situation finally got it in with his Canadian girl girl this week. Good for him. While I find myself liking The Situation less and less, I did understand why he was mad about Angelina sleeping in his bed, especially because it was her AND her boyfriend. I would have been pissed as well! He also tried to calmly ask her to apologize, but she was not having it.
JWOWW weirdly tried to convince Angelina to stay. I guess it was just a woman-to-woman thing? Also, her boyfriend left and she was sad.
Angelina surprised me by staying this long, I thought she would have been gone a LONG time ago. But luckily for us, the end of Angelina has finally come. She went out on a high note though, fighting with both Situation and Snooki in her final hours. As Ronnie so beautifully put it, "no hair off my back."
Sammi wasn't in this episode, so I have nothing to say. Oh, but she and Angelina aren't friends anymore.
Snooki was mysteriously missing for the first half of this episode. Could this have been when she was allegedly hospitalized for alcohol poisoning? Hmm, #thingstoponder. However, she made her triumphant return in the second half of the episode and made it well worth the wait. First, she spent her "shift" at her "job" making a lists of things she likes (Guido Juicehead Gorillas, huge earrings, Ed Hardy), things she hates (Boys/jerkoffs/fame whores, hangovers, people) and who her ideal guy would be (tan, Guido Gorilla Juicehead, pays for meals etc.) She also may have let it slip that she was on match.com. Amazeballs. Finally, in one of my favorite moments of the season, she ripped out her earrings and laid the beat down on Angelina. Good work this week Snooks.
Vinny, like Sammi, wasn't much of a presence this episode. But let's talk about how each week he and Pauly become a cuter and cuter bromance.
Ronnie has been noticeably absent ever since he stopped three-way kissing gross women, but taking the role of announcer upon himself for Angelina and Snooki's fight made up for that. "Standing in one corner, four-foot nine-inches, two inches with the pouf, Nicole Snooki Polizzi. Standing in the other corner, at 322 pounds, the Staten Island Dump" Well played, Ron Ron.
Pauly was as adorable as ever as the house alarm clock and narrator of all events. Can't wait for your spin off Pauly!!!
Situation finally got it in with his Canadian girl girl this week. Good for him. While I find myself liking The Situation less and less, I did understand why he was mad about Angelina sleeping in his bed, especially because it was her AND her boyfriend. I would have been pissed as well! He also tried to calmly ask her to apologize, but she was not having it.
JWOWW weirdly tried to convince Angelina to stay. I guess it was just a woman-to-woman thing? Also, her boyfriend left and she was sad.
Angelina surprised me by staying this long, I thought she would have been gone a LONG time ago. But luckily for us, the end of Angelina has finally come. She went out on a high note though, fighting with both Situation and Snooki in her final hours. As Ronnie so beautifully put it, "no hair off my back."
Sunday, September 26, 2010
9.23 Jersey Shore PLUS Pauly's Getting a Spin-off!!!!
Yes people, Pauly is getting a spin-off following his DJ career. YAY!!!! Let’s hope that Vinny makes frequent guest appearances.
It’s been so long since we last saw our heroes!! A quick reminder: Angelina is a hypocritical whore and Vinny was stood up. And go…
We find Vinny continuing to wait for his rare rose to show up. She’s not going to. We all knew that last episode. Even when Pauly comes home from his date, poor little Vinny is still sulking.
Angelina and Jose go on a double date with Ronnie and Sammi to celebrate Jose’s birthday. Ah, the two most dysfunctional couples in Miami, a match made in heaven. For some reason Jose is still completely smitten with Angelina, which is a mystery to all of us (right?) When the lovely couples return home after their amazing (snore) date, Ronnie gives the flowers that Vinny bought for his date to Sam. Lame. Meanwhile, Jose was expecting some birthday sex from Angelina, but it ain’t gonna happen.
The next day Angelina lies to her roommates and says she smashed Jose the night before? What is the point of this lie? Apparently she thought that everyone would stop talking shit about her, but guess what! It just infuriates Situation more. But Snooki sums it all up for us, calling Angelina a “loosey goosey”.
Now let’s take a moment to discuss how Pauly is the most underrated person on this show. The girl he is dating is not a ho or a stalker. Plus, watching him drag Snooki out of her bed was the funniest moment of this episode. Also, I am liking that Vinny is his new wing man. Dropping Situation was a good life decision. He even creeps Sammi out.
JWoww’s BF Tom comes to visit. He is there all of five minutes before snooping through her stuff and finds a phone number she shouldn’t have had. He then proceeds to throw a fit like a 6 year old and is ready to leave. Fun visit! Luckily he gets over it quickly and they romantically pick each other’s noses.
Also visiting is Angelina’s friend. I don’t care. They all go out and Angelina decides to mack on Snooki’s former tryst, Dennis. Snooki is absolutely right, Angelina LOVES her sloppy seconds. Also, Situation tries to hook up with a girl in the bathroom. Ew. Security ruins this for him. Then he loses her. Ha ha ha. Also, Sammi and Ronnie are in love again, so they are completely irrelevant to the show now. Other things to be noted from this night: Pauly calls Angelina out on her bullshit and Snooki escapes to Vinny’s bed after tickling JWoww and Toms feet while they were smushing.
Situation’s lady friend leaves a note with her number on the front gate. Not desperate. At all. He can hardly contain himself and decides to clean to entire house in preparation for her visit. Unfortunately, Angelina is incapable of dealing with her monthly situation in an appropriate way and Situation is the one to find the dirty trash can. This can’t end well.
When Angelina gets home from the beach with a new man friend (how does she get all these guys?!) she finds the used pad that Situation left under her pillow. If I didn’t think she was such an awful human being, I might feel a little embarrassed. But I don’t. Then they yell at each other as the credits roll. The typical end to every episode.
But next week…the fight we’ve all been waiting for! Snooki’s beatdown on Angelina! Yippee!
It’s been so long since we last saw our heroes!! A quick reminder: Angelina is a hypocritical whore and Vinny was stood up. And go…
We find Vinny continuing to wait for his rare rose to show up. She’s not going to. We all knew that last episode. Even when Pauly comes home from his date, poor little Vinny is still sulking.
Angelina and Jose go on a double date with Ronnie and Sammi to celebrate Jose’s birthday. Ah, the two most dysfunctional couples in Miami, a match made in heaven. For some reason Jose is still completely smitten with Angelina, which is a mystery to all of us (right?) When the lovely couples return home after their amazing (snore) date, Ronnie gives the flowers that Vinny bought for his date to Sam. Lame. Meanwhile, Jose was expecting some birthday sex from Angelina, but it ain’t gonna happen.
The next day Angelina lies to her roommates and says she smashed Jose the night before? What is the point of this lie? Apparently she thought that everyone would stop talking shit about her, but guess what! It just infuriates Situation more. But Snooki sums it all up for us, calling Angelina a “loosey goosey”.
Now let’s take a moment to discuss how Pauly is the most underrated person on this show. The girl he is dating is not a ho or a stalker. Plus, watching him drag Snooki out of her bed was the funniest moment of this episode. Also, I am liking that Vinny is his new wing man. Dropping Situation was a good life decision. He even creeps Sammi out.
JWoww’s BF Tom comes to visit. He is there all of five minutes before snooping through her stuff and finds a phone number she shouldn’t have had. He then proceeds to throw a fit like a 6 year old and is ready to leave. Fun visit! Luckily he gets over it quickly and they romantically pick each other’s noses.
Also visiting is Angelina’s friend. I don’t care. They all go out and Angelina decides to mack on Snooki’s former tryst, Dennis. Snooki is absolutely right, Angelina LOVES her sloppy seconds. Also, Situation tries to hook up with a girl in the bathroom. Ew. Security ruins this for him. Then he loses her. Ha ha ha. Also, Sammi and Ronnie are in love again, so they are completely irrelevant to the show now. Other things to be noted from this night: Pauly calls Angelina out on her bullshit and Snooki escapes to Vinny’s bed after tickling JWoww and Toms feet while they were smushing.
Situation’s lady friend leaves a note with her number on the front gate. Not desperate. At all. He can hardly contain himself and decides to clean to entire house in preparation for her visit. Unfortunately, Angelina is incapable of dealing with her monthly situation in an appropriate way and Situation is the one to find the dirty trash can. This can’t end well.
When Angelina gets home from the beach with a new man friend (how does she get all these guys?!) she finds the used pad that Situation left under her pillow. If I didn’t think she was such an awful human being, I might feel a little embarrassed. But I don’t. Then they yell at each other as the credits roll. The typical end to every episode.
But next week…the fight we’ve all been waiting for! Snooki’s beatdown on Angelina! Yippee!
Monday, September 13, 2010
9.12 Jersey Shore: The Original Guido
Bonus episode time! We once again pick up right where we left off…Angelina’s attempt to discreetly leave Vinny’s bed. Fail, we all saw your ass cheeks. It doesn’t take long for the whole house to learn that Angelina and Vinny hooked up. The guys are pissed (apparently they are BFFs with Jose these days) and say she is a hypocritical whore and has proven the “ho equation”, as in if you treat a girl nicely she isn’t going to smush you, but verball abuse her and she is all yours. Snooki takes the situation personally, as it has only been a mere few weeks since our Snooks hooked up with Vinny.
Conveniently for the producers, Vinny’s mom calls the next morning and Angelina picks up. Vinny’s family is coming for a visit. His mom cooks an incredible looking meal (why aren’t more Italians obese?) and more importantly we meet Vinny’s Uncle Nino. Uncle Nino speaks his own language, it’s not Italian and it is most definitely not English. Needless to say, I did not catch a single word that came out of his mouth. He also seems to have found his soul mate in JWoww…who makes her first appearance in the hot tub this season with Uncle Nino. Um, gross.
Vinny’s family leaves and it’s time for the roommates to hit the town. Angelina bails on Jose because she is scared Situation will tell him about her tryst with Vinny, which is probably true. However, once she gets to the club, she wastes no time finding a new man to tease. What a sliggity. Pauly and Situation also find two friends that are willing to come home with them, because for some reason they have to synchronize their sex lives. Unfortunately, this doesn’t bode well for either as Situation’s girl has a boyfriend and forces her friend to leave with her. Luckily, Pauly has a collection of numbers he can call to find a girl who is DTF, but she has to bring a friend for Sitch (obviously). However, said girl apparently doesn’t have any friends who aren’t grenades. I bet her friends who are watching are PISSED. Situation settles for creepily watching Pauly hook up while eating an egg sandwich.
Angelina finally mans up and decides its time to face Jose, but she’s not going to tell him what happened, she’s just going to make out with him. Situation is there to make sure she doesn’t get away with it, and Angelina finally confesses (but doesn’t exactly tell the whole truth.) Meanwhile, Vinny is falling in love with a dancer. Like he could see himself marrying her. Ditto for Pauly, except she wasn’t a dancer and seemed relatively normal.
The next day they decide to take these lovely ladies on a double date. Well Vinny awkwardly asks for a sympathy date, while Pauly, smooth as ever tells his girl “Vinny’s gonna take that girl he’s in love with, I’m gonna take the girl I’m in love with and you can come too.” I love you Pauly. The boys go out and HSF (haircut, shopping, florist) for their big dates. Then after all this prep work…dancer lady bails on Vinny! Something sketchy is going on, my guess? She has a boyfriend…right? Even when he calls her back and begs she still stands him up. Poor guy, maybe Angelina will let him hop on the Staten Island ferry for another free ride.
Welp, that’s all for this lovely bonus episode. When’s that fight between Snooks and Angelina? Because that’s what I want to see. Also, anyone else notice that Sammi and Ronnie didn’t get much screen time this episode? My dream is coming true.
Conveniently for the producers, Vinny’s mom calls the next morning and Angelina picks up. Vinny’s family is coming for a visit. His mom cooks an incredible looking meal (why aren’t more Italians obese?) and more importantly we meet Vinny’s Uncle Nino. Uncle Nino speaks his own language, it’s not Italian and it is most definitely not English. Needless to say, I did not catch a single word that came out of his mouth. He also seems to have found his soul mate in JWoww…who makes her first appearance in the hot tub this season with Uncle Nino. Um, gross.
Vinny’s family leaves and it’s time for the roommates to hit the town. Angelina bails on Jose because she is scared Situation will tell him about her tryst with Vinny, which is probably true. However, once she gets to the club, she wastes no time finding a new man to tease. What a sliggity. Pauly and Situation also find two friends that are willing to come home with them, because for some reason they have to synchronize their sex lives. Unfortunately, this doesn’t bode well for either as Situation’s girl has a boyfriend and forces her friend to leave with her. Luckily, Pauly has a collection of numbers he can call to find a girl who is DTF, but she has to bring a friend for Sitch (obviously). However, said girl apparently doesn’t have any friends who aren’t grenades. I bet her friends who are watching are PISSED. Situation settles for creepily watching Pauly hook up while eating an egg sandwich.
Angelina finally mans up and decides its time to face Jose, but she’s not going to tell him what happened, she’s just going to make out with him. Situation is there to make sure she doesn’t get away with it, and Angelina finally confesses (but doesn’t exactly tell the whole truth.) Meanwhile, Vinny is falling in love with a dancer. Like he could see himself marrying her. Ditto for Pauly, except she wasn’t a dancer and seemed relatively normal.
The next day they decide to take these lovely ladies on a double date. Well Vinny awkwardly asks for a sympathy date, while Pauly, smooth as ever tells his girl “Vinny’s gonna take that girl he’s in love with, I’m gonna take the girl I’m in love with and you can come too.” I love you Pauly. The boys go out and HSF (haircut, shopping, florist) for their big dates. Then after all this prep work…dancer lady bails on Vinny! Something sketchy is going on, my guess? She has a boyfriend…right? Even when he calls her back and begs she still stands him up. Poor guy, maybe Angelina will let him hop on the Staten Island ferry for another free ride.
Welp, that’s all for this lovely bonus episode. When’s that fight between Snooks and Angelina? Because that’s what I want to see. Also, anyone else notice that Sammi and Ronnie didn’t get much screen time this episode? My dream is coming true.
9.6 Jersey Shore: A Land Where Fossil Watches are the Highest Honor
This week’s episode picks up mid fight between two people that shouldn’t have been involved in a fight the first place. Ronnie tries to get into it with Vinny for starting it (but later apologizes) and Angelina makes a lot of loud, incoherent noise. Everyone goes to their corners and it is done with. The next morning, the kitchen is filled with fake nails, Sammi’s hair extensions (seriously, you make the big bucks now, do away with the clip in extensions) and lunch meat. JWoww calls off work as she needs to get her nails fixed. Listen, she’s JWoww, okay? It’s excuseable.
Later, Angelina, Situation and Vinny are at work and Angelina rants about how Vinny is terrible (and not even good looking.) This scene, however, brings us the most important part of the show: Jose buying Angelina a Fossil watch. Still doesn’t mean she’s gonna give it up!
I am not going to write about Sammi and Ronnie’s date, as I am hoping ignoring their presence on the show will make them go away (highly unlikely).
Back at home, Vinny is in the hot tub, simmering with hatred for Angelina. Love the build up to their inevitable hook up (we all know it happens, right?) Also, does Situation’s sister live in the house now? She just seems to always be there. The gang (minus Snooks and JWoww) goes to Felt to play pool. Now, imagaine the horror when (oh no!) Snooki and JWoww show up! The nerve of them!
The next morning, Situation’s sister leaves, so I was wrong. (See, I don’t have a problem admitting when I’m wrong!) Snooki and JWoww go to the beach and it makes me sad because they should not be alienated! Look, they should have gone about it in a different way, but that note wasn’t bad enough to get them exiled, sheesh! Anyway, Snooki claims her ethnicity is tan and all is right in the world again.
In one of the most poorly edited scenes this show has seen, the next scene is clearly from the night of the fight (they’re all in the same clothes from that night!) Angelina calls Vinny out for running to JWoww and for apparently being ugly and bringing home ugly girls. Vinny then comes at her with several insults, including calling her the “Rob Kardashian of Staten Island.” However, Pauly’s facial expressions in this scene make up for the editing misstep.
Later on at the club Vinny meets the most beautiful girl he has seen in Miami. Bonus! She works at Hooters! Classy all the way, my friends. Angelina calls her a grenade, which is harsh. She was not unattractive, Angelina just has the personality of a 5 year old. Go snuggle with your Fossil watch. More importantly, Snooki meets a nice fella who she can “dance like Spanish people” with. She brings home said gentleman, who helps himself to everything in their kitchen. Once his tummy is full, it’s time for some moaning and awkward conversation. Oh, and his name is Dennis. (Even Snooki can’t say it without laughing!) Poor JWoww. Snooki sets us all straight in the morning, swearing that she didn’t let him get it in. She is saving herself….for tomorrow night!
The next night everyone is getting ready to go out again (such a nice life they lead). Angelina calls Jose and he tells her to behave! The nerve of him! But really, he has invested a lot in the girl…he bought her a Fossil watch guys! He can tell her to behave if he wants to. FOSSIL WATCH. While the others go out to play, Snooks invites her new man friend over, but first they must sanitize the smush room! Once the room has been fumigated, Snooks tells Dannis to bring a hot friend over for JWoww. Dennis misunderstands and brings a man-grenade. Man-grenade is almost immediately kicked out and Snooki gets it in.
Back with the party people, it’s 4 AM and time to leave the club. Everyone’s wasted in the cab and Vinny and Angelina share a very uncomfortable looking make out sesh. However, Pauly has the line of the night when he says “can we stop so Vinny can buy a Fossil Watch.” That Pauly, what a guy. When they get back to the house Angelina pretends she isn’t going to hook up with Vinny. She is. Remember when he told you that you were the Staten Island dump amongst many other insults? You really showed him!
Next week, the backlash from the hook up from hell. (And probably more talk about Fossil watches.)
Later, Angelina, Situation and Vinny are at work and Angelina rants about how Vinny is terrible (and not even good looking.) This scene, however, brings us the most important part of the show: Jose buying Angelina a Fossil watch. Still doesn’t mean she’s gonna give it up!
I am not going to write about Sammi and Ronnie’s date, as I am hoping ignoring their presence on the show will make them go away (highly unlikely).
Back at home, Vinny is in the hot tub, simmering with hatred for Angelina. Love the build up to their inevitable hook up (we all know it happens, right?) Also, does Situation’s sister live in the house now? She just seems to always be there. The gang (minus Snooks and JWoww) goes to Felt to play pool. Now, imagaine the horror when (oh no!) Snooki and JWoww show up! The nerve of them!
The next morning, Situation’s sister leaves, so I was wrong. (See, I don’t have a problem admitting when I’m wrong!) Snooki and JWoww go to the beach and it makes me sad because they should not be alienated! Look, they should have gone about it in a different way, but that note wasn’t bad enough to get them exiled, sheesh! Anyway, Snooki claims her ethnicity is tan and all is right in the world again.
In one of the most poorly edited scenes this show has seen, the next scene is clearly from the night of the fight (they’re all in the same clothes from that night!) Angelina calls Vinny out for running to JWoww and for apparently being ugly and bringing home ugly girls. Vinny then comes at her with several insults, including calling her the “Rob Kardashian of Staten Island.” However, Pauly’s facial expressions in this scene make up for the editing misstep.
Later on at the club Vinny meets the most beautiful girl he has seen in Miami. Bonus! She works at Hooters! Classy all the way, my friends. Angelina calls her a grenade, which is harsh. She was not unattractive, Angelina just has the personality of a 5 year old. Go snuggle with your Fossil watch. More importantly, Snooki meets a nice fella who she can “dance like Spanish people” with. She brings home said gentleman, who helps himself to everything in their kitchen. Once his tummy is full, it’s time for some moaning and awkward conversation. Oh, and his name is Dennis. (Even Snooki can’t say it without laughing!) Poor JWoww. Snooki sets us all straight in the morning, swearing that she didn’t let him get it in. She is saving herself….for tomorrow night!
The next night everyone is getting ready to go out again (such a nice life they lead). Angelina calls Jose and he tells her to behave! The nerve of him! But really, he has invested a lot in the girl…he bought her a Fossil watch guys! He can tell her to behave if he wants to. FOSSIL WATCH. While the others go out to play, Snooks invites her new man friend over, but first they must sanitize the smush room! Once the room has been fumigated, Snooks tells Dannis to bring a hot friend over for JWoww. Dennis misunderstands and brings a man-grenade. Man-grenade is almost immediately kicked out and Snooki gets it in.
Back with the party people, it’s 4 AM and time to leave the club. Everyone’s wasted in the cab and Vinny and Angelina share a very uncomfortable looking make out sesh. However, Pauly has the line of the night when he says “can we stop so Vinny can buy a Fossil Watch.” That Pauly, what a guy. When they get back to the house Angelina pretends she isn’t going to hook up with Vinny. She is. Remember when he told you that you were the Staten Island dump amongst many other insults? You really showed him!
Next week, the backlash from the hook up from hell. (And probably more talk about Fossil watches.)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
9.2 Jersey Shore: If You Even Have To Think About It...
Well, we’ve officially reached the THIRD episode that deals with “the note.” Do you know what better things they could have done in all this time? ANYTHING INVOLVING PAULY D. Seriously, where has he been?
Anyway, Snooki gets drunks “drinks cigarettes” then goes creeping in the house. She pretends like she is trying to figure out whose bed is the most comfy, but you aren’t fooling us Snooki. We know you want to smush Vinny (again?) Good for you Snooks. Then, being the good friend she is, talks about the size of his thing on national TV.
The girls go to the beach, but Sammi stays home, as she needs to spend more time in her bed. J-Woww and Snooki continue to live in their little fantasy world where they actually believe no one will know they wrote the note. Next, they threaten Angelina, then J-Woww for some reason starts talking about how Sammi sucks. Yes, she is stupid for staying with him, but why is J-Woww so heated about this?
Back at the house, Sammi finally emerges from her bed to talk to the Situation, who (per usual) makes a brilliant point. Ronnie is 100% wrong, but Sammi doesn’t see that, so he will continue to get away with everything. Oh Situation, you are so wise, I can’t wait to cheer for you on Dancing with the Stars. Sammi cries and says “I’m done wit it” for the umpteenth time. Anyone believe her? Then, she gets back in her bed.
That night, the girls are talking outside, where Snooki is starting to feel guilty about the note. Snooks wants to tell her, but the others don’t want to. Angelina shouts a lot. Ugh. Situation goes outside and overhears the girls talking. For some reason, he decides to go inside and tell Sammi that the girls are talking shit about her. Oh Situation, I had such high hopes for you, but now you are being an instigator. The girls try to get Sammi to come outside, but she refuses. This enrages J-Woww who comes inside to scream Sammi. Um, ladies, fighting amongst yourselves is unnecessary. Ronnie, however, is loving this because it is taking some of the heat off him. He takes it upon himself to call Snooki and J-Woww bad friends because they didn’t tell Sammi about his indiscretions as soon as they happened.
The next day we finally get some Vinny and Pauly D time. Unfortunately, it’s just a trip to the eye doctor. But really, Pauly can make anything entertaining, as he proves with quotes like “your eyebrows are so bushy that they collect more bacteria” and “he has a history of pink eye.” Scene stealer!
The Situation comes back in full force that night. We’ve all missed his shenanigans and luckily, tonight’s are especially hilarious. After getting the girl home and into the “smush room”, he leaves her alone in there so he can make himself a 3 course meal. (Don’t worry, he asked her if she was hungry as well.) When the smushing is over, he leaves her alone in the room to go out and try and concoct a plan to get rid of her, which he does so, successfully.
The next morning brings the dreaded day the girls have to follow up on their promise of cooking for the boys. Luckily, this brings an opportunity for Snooki to gain some life skills, for example, learning what a quart is. J-Woww continues to be angry while Sammi continues to be lazy, a dangerous combo. Also, Snooki seats the counter on fire. In the end, the girls cook a great meal that everyone enjoys, besides Debbie Downer Sammi, who chews on some lettuce in the corner.
Okay, the whole scene with Angelina and Sammi at work bothers me. First, Sammi kisses Ronnie when he drops them off. WHAT? I thought you were “done wit it.” Second of all, Sammi pretends that she really likes Angelina, but really, she has no other options for friends in the house. Then, Angelina reveals who wrote the note, knowing that it would create chaos. Ugh.
Anyway, back on the entertaining front, Situation’s sister is in town, which means good things for Vinny! Luckily he has his bling, which is obviously what lures her in. Meanwhile, the Situation finds a tranny. Besides the fact that she is a man, why would he talk to a girl with crimped hair and that outfit? Poor judgment all around. Thankfully, Pauly chose this night to get absolutely obliterated, so he finally gets some screen time. Why does he ruin this by spending some of this time making out with Angelina? Ugh. But, as Vinny brilliantly points out, Pauly is so drunk he would hook up with him, so we’ll forgive him this time.
Not everyone finds Pauly’s drunkenness as entertaining as I do, as Angelina decides to turn it into an opportunity to talk about J-Woww. As we all witnessed, J-Woww simply called her boyfriend to tell him she was home safely. She mentioned something about Pauly throwing up. I didn’t know that was considered talking shit, but to Angelina it is. Vinny calls her out and immediately tells J-Woww…which probably wasn’t the best idea, as her anger issues have really played out this episode. J-Woww uses this as an excuse to take out all her pent up frustration toward Sam out and knocks a bitch down. Can’t wait for next week!
Anyway, Snooki gets drunks “drinks cigarettes” then goes creeping in the house. She pretends like she is trying to figure out whose bed is the most comfy, but you aren’t fooling us Snooki. We know you want to smush Vinny (again?) Good for you Snooks. Then, being the good friend she is, talks about the size of his thing on national TV.
The girls go to the beach, but Sammi stays home, as she needs to spend more time in her bed. J-Woww and Snooki continue to live in their little fantasy world where they actually believe no one will know they wrote the note. Next, they threaten Angelina, then J-Woww for some reason starts talking about how Sammi sucks. Yes, she is stupid for staying with him, but why is J-Woww so heated about this?
Back at the house, Sammi finally emerges from her bed to talk to the Situation, who (per usual) makes a brilliant point. Ronnie is 100% wrong, but Sammi doesn’t see that, so he will continue to get away with everything. Oh Situation, you are so wise, I can’t wait to cheer for you on Dancing with the Stars. Sammi cries and says “I’m done wit it” for the umpteenth time. Anyone believe her? Then, she gets back in her bed.
That night, the girls are talking outside, where Snooki is starting to feel guilty about the note. Snooks wants to tell her, but the others don’t want to. Angelina shouts a lot. Ugh. Situation goes outside and overhears the girls talking. For some reason, he decides to go inside and tell Sammi that the girls are talking shit about her. Oh Situation, I had such high hopes for you, but now you are being an instigator. The girls try to get Sammi to come outside, but she refuses. This enrages J-Woww who comes inside to scream Sammi. Um, ladies, fighting amongst yourselves is unnecessary. Ronnie, however, is loving this because it is taking some of the heat off him. He takes it upon himself to call Snooki and J-Woww bad friends because they didn’t tell Sammi about his indiscretions as soon as they happened.
The next day we finally get some Vinny and Pauly D time. Unfortunately, it’s just a trip to the eye doctor. But really, Pauly can make anything entertaining, as he proves with quotes like “your eyebrows are so bushy that they collect more bacteria” and “he has a history of pink eye.” Scene stealer!
The Situation comes back in full force that night. We’ve all missed his shenanigans and luckily, tonight’s are especially hilarious. After getting the girl home and into the “smush room”, he leaves her alone in there so he can make himself a 3 course meal. (Don’t worry, he asked her if she was hungry as well.) When the smushing is over, he leaves her alone in the room to go out and try and concoct a plan to get rid of her, which he does so, successfully.
The next morning brings the dreaded day the girls have to follow up on their promise of cooking for the boys. Luckily, this brings an opportunity for Snooki to gain some life skills, for example, learning what a quart is. J-Woww continues to be angry while Sammi continues to be lazy, a dangerous combo. Also, Snooki seats the counter on fire. In the end, the girls cook a great meal that everyone enjoys, besides Debbie Downer Sammi, who chews on some lettuce in the corner.
Okay, the whole scene with Angelina and Sammi at work bothers me. First, Sammi kisses Ronnie when he drops them off. WHAT? I thought you were “done wit it.” Second of all, Sammi pretends that she really likes Angelina, but really, she has no other options for friends in the house. Then, Angelina reveals who wrote the note, knowing that it would create chaos. Ugh.
Anyway, back on the entertaining front, Situation’s sister is in town, which means good things for Vinny! Luckily he has his bling, which is obviously what lures her in. Meanwhile, the Situation finds a tranny. Besides the fact that she is a man, why would he talk to a girl with crimped hair and that outfit? Poor judgment all around. Thankfully, Pauly chose this night to get absolutely obliterated, so he finally gets some screen time. Why does he ruin this by spending some of this time making out with Angelina? Ugh. But, as Vinny brilliantly points out, Pauly is so drunk he would hook up with him, so we’ll forgive him this time.
Not everyone finds Pauly’s drunkenness as entertaining as I do, as Angelina decides to turn it into an opportunity to talk about J-Woww. As we all witnessed, J-Woww simply called her boyfriend to tell him she was home safely. She mentioned something about Pauly throwing up. I didn’t know that was considered talking shit, but to Angelina it is. Vinny calls her out and immediately tells J-Woww…which probably wasn’t the best idea, as her anger issues have really played out this episode. J-Woww uses this as an excuse to take out all her pent up frustration toward Sam out and knocks a bitch down. Can’t wait for next week!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
8.19 Jersey Shore: The Saga of Ronnie and Sammi (ugh)
We pick up right where we left off last week (and every week) with Ronnie dancing with the nastiest girls (grenades! Landmines!) in whichever club they are in, then getting their numbers.
Snooki dials up her boyfriend, who sucks, and tells her there are half naked girls everywhere around up. Don’t mess with our Snooks like that, you midget! (Yes, I have seen him in person and he is very short.) Anyway, she gets pissed and points out that things like this are the reason the lesbian rate is going up.
Sammi (who of course is in her bed. BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS IN HER BED) uncomfortably asks JWoww and Snooki is they think Ronnie is f***ing with her. They stare awkwardly and make it so obvious that they know something…but they still don’t tell her (which will be a theme throughout this entire episode). By 4AM they still aren’t home and Sammi get super pissed. Then Snooki’s boyfriend calls her back and tells her that he cheated on her. He was kidding but he is so terrible and needs to go away. C’mon Snooks, just break up with him. We know you do eventually. The angry girlfriends do what any rational females would do, and break some dishes.
Ronnie makes a smart decision for once and goes to sleep in his own bed. Well, maybe it wasn’t so smart, as Sammi is even more pissed now. Ronnie then claims that he doesn’t think he has started any of these arguments. He’s delusional. Also, he says the reason he didn’t go to college because he hates tests. Yep, I’m sure that’s the reason. Then they have the same fight they have everyday. Meanwhile, Angelina is trying to kiss Snooki’s ass. Shut up Angelina.
The next night we get our first family dinner of the season, which really just makes me hungry. Then for some reasons the women (minus Sammi) decide to put on lingerie (except Angelina, who is wearing the smallest garbage bag ever) to play a bowl of questions…which is not a game I have ever heard of. This unsuccessful game mostly just leads to questions that make everyone look at Sammi and Ronnie awkwardly. Situation hits the nail on the head by pointing out that Sammi is not stupid, she knows what is going on, she just doesn’t want to believe it. I miss Situation, why isn’t he on this show more often??
Everyone gets ready to a fun night out! LOL JK, we all know they can’t go out as a group without drama! C’mon guys! This time Ronnie and Sammi’s fight begins before they even leave for the club. He can’t help it Sammi, he hates you because he loves you so much! Don’t you get it?? I will tell the short version of what happened next: Fight fight fight. “I’m done, I don’t want to be with him. It’s over. But I have to tell him I’m leaving.” Fight fight fight. Ronnie’s inebriated.
After declaring that she was completely done and okay with it, she still takes care of his stupid drunk ass. I want to shake her. As does everyone else. Even in the morning, when he has sobered up enough to take care of himself, Sammi still gives him sympathy. SAMANTHA. STOP IT.
You know what Sammi needs to do? She needs to go out with JWoww and Snooks and bring guys home to get in the hot tub. She doesn’t have to hook up with anyone, just give Ronnie a little taste of his own medicine. Clearly, Sammi could use a friend like me.
Instead, she has friends who decide to send her an anonymous letter to get her up to speed on all of Ronnie’s trysts. They are positive she will not know it’s them, as they use the word “breasts” in the letter. All the while, Sammi has been forced by the producers to hang out with Angelina, who is feasibly the worst liar ever.
Next week, Sammi finds the letter! But who could have written it?! Shenanigans will ensue!
Snooki dials up her boyfriend, who sucks, and tells her there are half naked girls everywhere around up. Don’t mess with our Snooks like that, you midget! (Yes, I have seen him in person and he is very short.) Anyway, she gets pissed and points out that things like this are the reason the lesbian rate is going up.
Sammi (who of course is in her bed. BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS IN HER BED) uncomfortably asks JWoww and Snooki is they think Ronnie is f***ing with her. They stare awkwardly and make it so obvious that they know something…but they still don’t tell her (which will be a theme throughout this entire episode). By 4AM they still aren’t home and Sammi get super pissed. Then Snooki’s boyfriend calls her back and tells her that he cheated on her. He was kidding but he is so terrible and needs to go away. C’mon Snooks, just break up with him. We know you do eventually. The angry girlfriends do what any rational females would do, and break some dishes.
Ronnie makes a smart decision for once and goes to sleep in his own bed. Well, maybe it wasn’t so smart, as Sammi is even more pissed now. Ronnie then claims that he doesn’t think he has started any of these arguments. He’s delusional. Also, he says the reason he didn’t go to college because he hates tests. Yep, I’m sure that’s the reason. Then they have the same fight they have everyday. Meanwhile, Angelina is trying to kiss Snooki’s ass. Shut up Angelina.
The next night we get our first family dinner of the season, which really just makes me hungry. Then for some reasons the women (minus Sammi) decide to put on lingerie (except Angelina, who is wearing the smallest garbage bag ever) to play a bowl of questions…which is not a game I have ever heard of. This unsuccessful game mostly just leads to questions that make everyone look at Sammi and Ronnie awkwardly. Situation hits the nail on the head by pointing out that Sammi is not stupid, she knows what is going on, she just doesn’t want to believe it. I miss Situation, why isn’t he on this show more often??
Everyone gets ready to a fun night out! LOL JK, we all know they can’t go out as a group without drama! C’mon guys! This time Ronnie and Sammi’s fight begins before they even leave for the club. He can’t help it Sammi, he hates you because he loves you so much! Don’t you get it?? I will tell the short version of what happened next: Fight fight fight. “I’m done, I don’t want to be with him. It’s over. But I have to tell him I’m leaving.” Fight fight fight. Ronnie’s inebriated.
After declaring that she was completely done and okay with it, she still takes care of his stupid drunk ass. I want to shake her. As does everyone else. Even in the morning, when he has sobered up enough to take care of himself, Sammi still gives him sympathy. SAMANTHA. STOP IT.
You know what Sammi needs to do? She needs to go out with JWoww and Snooks and bring guys home to get in the hot tub. She doesn’t have to hook up with anyone, just give Ronnie a little taste of his own medicine. Clearly, Sammi could use a friend like me.
Instead, she has friends who decide to send her an anonymous letter to get her up to speed on all of Ronnie’s trysts. They are positive she will not know it’s them, as they use the word “breasts” in the letter. All the while, Sammi has been forced by the producers to hang out with Angelina, who is feasibly the worst liar ever.
Next week, Sammi finds the letter! But who could have written it?! Shenanigans will ensue!
Friday, August 13, 2010
8.12 Jersey Shore: "Can I Please Smush You?"
In case you missed the slap heard ‘round the world last week, we get a replay right away. It’s a dark day when you see Pauly D get so angry. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head!! How dare Angelina do that to our dear Pauly!! JWoww hears yelling and, hoping this is her opportunity to beat someone up, jumps out of bed. Angelina (or as I am now going to refer to her: Danielle Staub Jr.) is now claiming that she did not slap Pauly. Hello! Just ask the cameramen, they were there! They could provide you with the footage! Anyway, now Angelina has no friends and I think she might have to sleep outside.
Daylight comes and we find JWoww, Ronnie and Vinny(!!) going to their first day of work. JWoww doesn’t get to wear stripper clothes or Ed Hardy hats, so she isn’t happy. (For the record, I do love JWoww despite her terrible taste.) Keeping in true MTV form, the new awesome supporting character is named Enzo and he owns the gelato shop. He and Vinny are even BFFs now!
Angelina decides that the best approach to her embarrassing rampage the night before is to pretend that she doesn’t remember anything and then cry. Pauly D impresses us all again by staying calm and even forgives Angelina, but of course he is not going to be your friend, sweetheart. You are a major buzz kill.
Well, we are three episodes in and we have yet to see our heroes in the barber shop. Luckily, Vinny needs a haircut and Ronnie kind of does to. Off they head to the “hood” of Miami (doubt it).
The Situation continues to prove that he is actually a real person and decides that he needs to tell the girls to try and bond with Angelina. Angelina can’t GTL with the boys everyday! She needs girlfriends! Then, Situation takes it one step further and even invites Angelina out with them. Vintage Snooki makes an appearance and Vinny is liking it. Snooki also continues to prove that she is actually a real person and pulls Angelina aside and tells her that if she just owns up to all the shit talking she did, they will all forgive her. Ah, the life of our little guidette. Now they are all friends again!
Meanwhile, Sammi and Ronnie are back to being the world’s most annoying couple. Ronnie gets drunk and Sammi just doesn’t appreciate that, so they get into a stupid fight and she storms out. I suppose we could call this vintage Sammi and Ronnie. However, as soon as Sammi is gone, new Ronnie makes an appearance and starts dancing and making out with the closest living creature. Snooki, who stayed behind at the club is put in a bad position when she witnesses everything Ronnie does. Then Ronnie pushes Snooki and now, I imagine, everyone in America hates him.
So we arrive home and get possibly one of the funniest scenes every on this show. Ronnie is sloppy drunk and then climbs into bed with Sammi (oh, that’s not the funny part). No that comes when Snooki and her hilarious hiccups drunk dial her ex-boyfriend while romantically caressing Vinny. Then she knocks over the entire table and just hangs up the phone. Then Vinny and Snooks get into bed together!!! “Wanna F***?” she asks. “Sure” he says. And what really happened, I guess we’ll never know. They both have clothes on in the morning and we didn’t get any creepy night vision shots of them making out, so I don’t think anything happened. It was great that Vinny answered the phone in the morning and it was Snooki’s boyfriend. EMILIOOOOOO.
Ronnie and Sammi spend a romantic day together working at the gelato shop, where Sammi proves she has no applicable skills in the real world. Then Ronnie makes a terrible, terrible mistake and calls Sammi his girlfriend. Poor, dear Sammi gets excited.
Nightfall comes and it’s the very first MVP night. (These boys and their acronyms!!) However, Angelina of course wants to crash. This is not AMVP pr MVPA or MAVP night, stupid Angelina. Also, it could not be any more obvious that they do not want her to come. Why would you want to go creeping with these guys anyway? Anyway MVP devises a fool-proof plan of running out the door as soon as Angelina looks away. While I thought this sounded ridiculous…but then it actually worked, so good for them! Unfortunately for MVP, the club is not packed with attractive girls…This will never stop The Situation though, he gathers up anything he can. Then we get a gross hot tub scene that I don’t really want to talk about.
We get our second hilarious scene of the show when Snooki is unable to do her job because she can’t see over the counter or reach the ice cream. It reminds me of when my brother’s dog was a puppy and he had to put his whole body into his food bowl in order to eat. Enzo continues to provide hilarious antics by repeatedly calling her “Snoookie.” Then Snooki gets up on the giant dog-camel in true Snooki fashion.
Ronnie continues to turn into the villain of show by ditching Sammi to go to the club with the guys (and Angelina, I assume). Bad move, cowboy. Once again, as soon as Ronnie gets to the club he beelines it for the most unattractive girls there.
Next week:
Everyone knows that Ronnie sucks except Sammi, so the girls write an anonymous letter? Hmm…
Daylight comes and we find JWoww, Ronnie and Vinny(!!) going to their first day of work. JWoww doesn’t get to wear stripper clothes or Ed Hardy hats, so she isn’t happy. (For the record, I do love JWoww despite her terrible taste.) Keeping in true MTV form, the new awesome supporting character is named Enzo and he owns the gelato shop. He and Vinny are even BFFs now!
Angelina decides that the best approach to her embarrassing rampage the night before is to pretend that she doesn’t remember anything and then cry. Pauly D impresses us all again by staying calm and even forgives Angelina, but of course he is not going to be your friend, sweetheart. You are a major buzz kill.
Well, we are three episodes in and we have yet to see our heroes in the barber shop. Luckily, Vinny needs a haircut and Ronnie kind of does to. Off they head to the “hood” of Miami (doubt it).
The Situation continues to prove that he is actually a real person and decides that he needs to tell the girls to try and bond with Angelina. Angelina can’t GTL with the boys everyday! She needs girlfriends! Then, Situation takes it one step further and even invites Angelina out with them. Vintage Snooki makes an appearance and Vinny is liking it. Snooki also continues to prove that she is actually a real person and pulls Angelina aside and tells her that if she just owns up to all the shit talking she did, they will all forgive her. Ah, the life of our little guidette. Now they are all friends again!
Meanwhile, Sammi and Ronnie are back to being the world’s most annoying couple. Ronnie gets drunk and Sammi just doesn’t appreciate that, so they get into a stupid fight and she storms out. I suppose we could call this vintage Sammi and Ronnie. However, as soon as Sammi is gone, new Ronnie makes an appearance and starts dancing and making out with the closest living creature. Snooki, who stayed behind at the club is put in a bad position when she witnesses everything Ronnie does. Then Ronnie pushes Snooki and now, I imagine, everyone in America hates him.
So we arrive home and get possibly one of the funniest scenes every on this show. Ronnie is sloppy drunk and then climbs into bed with Sammi (oh, that’s not the funny part). No that comes when Snooki and her hilarious hiccups drunk dial her ex-boyfriend while romantically caressing Vinny. Then she knocks over the entire table and just hangs up the phone. Then Vinny and Snooks get into bed together!!! “Wanna F***?” she asks. “Sure” he says. And what really happened, I guess we’ll never know. They both have clothes on in the morning and we didn’t get any creepy night vision shots of them making out, so I don’t think anything happened. It was great that Vinny answered the phone in the morning and it was Snooki’s boyfriend. EMILIOOOOOO.
Ronnie and Sammi spend a romantic day together working at the gelato shop, where Sammi proves she has no applicable skills in the real world. Then Ronnie makes a terrible, terrible mistake and calls Sammi his girlfriend. Poor, dear Sammi gets excited.
Nightfall comes and it’s the very first MVP night. (These boys and their acronyms!!) However, Angelina of course wants to crash. This is not AMVP pr MVPA or MAVP night, stupid Angelina. Also, it could not be any more obvious that they do not want her to come. Why would you want to go creeping with these guys anyway? Anyway MVP devises a fool-proof plan of running out the door as soon as Angelina looks away. While I thought this sounded ridiculous…but then it actually worked, so good for them! Unfortunately for MVP, the club is not packed with attractive girls…This will never stop The Situation though, he gathers up anything he can. Then we get a gross hot tub scene that I don’t really want to talk about.
We get our second hilarious scene of the show when Snooki is unable to do her job because she can’t see over the counter or reach the ice cream. It reminds me of when my brother’s dog was a puppy and he had to put his whole body into his food bowl in order to eat. Enzo continues to provide hilarious antics by repeatedly calling her “Snoookie.” Then Snooki gets up on the giant dog-camel in true Snooki fashion.
Ronnie continues to turn into the villain of show by ditching Sammi to go to the club with the guys (and Angelina, I assume). Bad move, cowboy. Once again, as soon as Ronnie gets to the club he beelines it for the most unattractive girls there.
Next week:
Everyone knows that Ronnie sucks except Sammi, so the girls write an anonymous letter? Hmm…
Thursday, August 5, 2010
8.5 Jersey Shore: Not Enough Snooki
Wasted Ronnie is not one of my favorite Ronnies and now he wants to sleep with Sammi after making out with the most disgusting girls in the state of Florida. He also manages to throw in an “I love you”, um…yikes. Naturally, his reaction is to say is doesn’t know what happened...but I have a feeling he might be bullshitting a wee bit. Here’s the next question, why did Sammi let Ronnie sleep in her bed only hours after calling her a C*** (no, I will not say it).
Pauly D’s seemingly endless amount of acronyms will never seize to amaze me. Seriously, Pauly D, you are a wonderful man.
Snooki is so brilliant and suggests Sammi needs a cocktail so she will stop asking all the guys what Ronnie did at the club. Snooki is the best BFF ever! The guys know how conniving girls are and figure Angelina will tell Sammi what happened so Ronnie opts to tell Sammi the truth, except not really.
The boutique the girls go shopping at appears to be J Woww’s dream come true. Just when I thought she has classed it up a notch…anyway, I feel like I have already seen this because there were lots of paparazzi pictures of this shopping trip. I like to see that The Situation is still cooking big family meals. Despite the fact that I imagine he is a dive now, he is not too much of a diva to cook for those roommates of his!
Angelina does what all stupid girls do, tries to be best friends with the guys, which in turn is just going to piss off the girls further. We all knew that Snooki was going to be the one who was going to have the chicken fall on her, c’mon, it’s Snooki. It’s hilarious that Vinny is the one talking about how Snooki can’t clean. He apparently has forgotten that last season we watched his mom cut up his food for him.
Sammi does normal crazy girlfriend things and goes through Ronnie’s phonebook. But this must have been what it as like in 1995 because it is an actual handwritten phonebook! He has written his other ex-girlfriend’s number in it (I wonder if she is as crazy…?) Pauly D, once again, a brilliant man would know better than to do that!
Conveniently, when J-Woww and Ronnie are talking he remembers what happened the previous night with the 3 way kiss and motarboating. He fails to mention how EFFING DISGUSTING THE GIRLS WERE.
Okay, maybe I’m an idiot but I still haven’t figured out what exactly Angelina said about Snooki’s boyfriend…? (By the way, I completely forgot Snooki had a boyfriend.) Anyway, this begins a hilarious sequence of “let’s all scream at Angelina”, which is always something I will be interested in watching. Ronnie is equally as thrilled because this is the only drama that will happen that doesn’t involve him. Can we take a moment to talk about Angelina’s unfortunate skin tight, grossly patterned romper? You know who are the only people who can wear rompers? BABIES.
So now it’s official that everyone besides Sammi knows that Ronnie was super gross the night before. Snooki says exactly what we are thinking (gosh, she is on top of things!), the Situation is such a little instigator!
Somehow (and I didn’t think it was possible), Ronnie and Sammi are more annoying this season than last. However, Ronnie’s Saved by the Bell reference was pretty phenom.
A gelato shop! Yum! Nice to see that these kids still have to work for their keep. Surprisingly, Angelina doesn’t seem to think that this job is not below her great bartending skills.
Angelina seems to think that the guys really want her to hang out with them. But really, she’s like a little puppy following them around. Not a cute puppy either.
Is Armani Exchange sponsoring this season? It’s less douchey than Ed Hardy, but matching AX shirt and hat Ronnie? Really? I’m pretty sure Angelina’s new “friends” that she made just want to be on the show…but I guess I won’t shatter her dreams. Angelina claims her concern for Pauly D is because she is her true friend. Nope, she is most definitely in love with him. Duh, Pauly, we all could have told you that one. But unfortunately, this is his fault. He should know better than to hook up with crazies!
The rare occasions when we get to see Pauly D get pissed are fantastic (remember when he yelled at the girl on the phone last season?! “You stalked my life on the boardwalk.” Incredible!) Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that Angelina realizing that Pauly D isn’t in love with her will make her go home.
Next week: Hopefully more Snooki! Hopefully less Ronnie and Sammi (not going to happen!) And grenades! And Vinooki!! Fantastic! The countdown begins.
Pauly D’s seemingly endless amount of acronyms will never seize to amaze me. Seriously, Pauly D, you are a wonderful man.
Snooki is so brilliant and suggests Sammi needs a cocktail so she will stop asking all the guys what Ronnie did at the club. Snooki is the best BFF ever! The guys know how conniving girls are and figure Angelina will tell Sammi what happened so Ronnie opts to tell Sammi the truth, except not really.
The boutique the girls go shopping at appears to be J Woww’s dream come true. Just when I thought she has classed it up a notch…anyway, I feel like I have already seen this because there were lots of paparazzi pictures of this shopping trip. I like to see that The Situation is still cooking big family meals. Despite the fact that I imagine he is a dive now, he is not too much of a diva to cook for those roommates of his!
Angelina does what all stupid girls do, tries to be best friends with the guys, which in turn is just going to piss off the girls further. We all knew that Snooki was going to be the one who was going to have the chicken fall on her, c’mon, it’s Snooki. It’s hilarious that Vinny is the one talking about how Snooki can’t clean. He apparently has forgotten that last season we watched his mom cut up his food for him.
Sammi does normal crazy girlfriend things and goes through Ronnie’s phonebook. But this must have been what it as like in 1995 because it is an actual handwritten phonebook! He has written his other ex-girlfriend’s number in it (I wonder if she is as crazy…?) Pauly D, once again, a brilliant man would know better than to do that!
Conveniently, when J-Woww and Ronnie are talking he remembers what happened the previous night with the 3 way kiss and motarboating. He fails to mention how EFFING DISGUSTING THE GIRLS WERE.
Okay, maybe I’m an idiot but I still haven’t figured out what exactly Angelina said about Snooki’s boyfriend…? (By the way, I completely forgot Snooki had a boyfriend.) Anyway, this begins a hilarious sequence of “let’s all scream at Angelina”, which is always something I will be interested in watching. Ronnie is equally as thrilled because this is the only drama that will happen that doesn’t involve him. Can we take a moment to talk about Angelina’s unfortunate skin tight, grossly patterned romper? You know who are the only people who can wear rompers? BABIES.
So now it’s official that everyone besides Sammi knows that Ronnie was super gross the night before. Snooki says exactly what we are thinking (gosh, she is on top of things!), the Situation is such a little instigator!
Somehow (and I didn’t think it was possible), Ronnie and Sammi are more annoying this season than last. However, Ronnie’s Saved by the Bell reference was pretty phenom.
A gelato shop! Yum! Nice to see that these kids still have to work for their keep. Surprisingly, Angelina doesn’t seem to think that this job is not below her great bartending skills.
Angelina seems to think that the guys really want her to hang out with them. But really, she’s like a little puppy following them around. Not a cute puppy either.
Is Armani Exchange sponsoring this season? It’s less douchey than Ed Hardy, but matching AX shirt and hat Ronnie? Really? I’m pretty sure Angelina’s new “friends” that she made just want to be on the show…but I guess I won’t shatter her dreams. Angelina claims her concern for Pauly D is because she is her true friend. Nope, she is most definitely in love with him. Duh, Pauly, we all could have told you that one. But unfortunately, this is his fault. He should know better than to hook up with crazies!
The rare occasions when we get to see Pauly D get pissed are fantastic (remember when he yelled at the girl on the phone last season?! “You stalked my life on the boardwalk.” Incredible!) Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that Angelina realizing that Pauly D isn’t in love with her will make her go home.
Next week: Hopefully more Snooki! Hopefully less Ronnie and Sammi (not going to happen!) And grenades! And Vinooki!! Fantastic! The countdown begins.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
JOISEY SHORE 2 IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a great day in my life. The greatest thing that has happened to MTV since TRL (right?! That show was awesome when I was in 6th grade!) returns for it’s triumphant second season! That’s right, Snooki, Situation, Pauly D, J-Woww, Vinny, the annoying couple and that other girl are back! I remember the wonderful day when I was sitting in my cubicle and found a video streaming of the crew moving into their new home in Miami, and now premiere day is finally here!
Last season:
They beat up the beat, GTLed, hooked up with grenades, conquered the duck phone, had annoying fights, got punched in the face by a man (or a woman if you’re the Situation) and basically just got wasted and acted like wasted people.
Okay, so we all know…they are going to Miami because you can’t send people to the Jersey Shore in the middle of winter. Road trip time!
Snooki has a boyfriend! (Whom she has already broken up with.) However he seems like a catch, he even does her spray tan for her! Also, her poof has gotten bigger. I didn’t know that was possible, but it is. Snooki driving is hilarious. She looks like a grandma sitting up against the wheel.
Meanwhile, the Situation is wearing an Ed Hardy Halloween costume, or something.
Sammi has decided to go by “Sammi Single” now, clever! Ronnie is still drinking Ron-Ron juice (is that a registered trademark yet?) and is planning on creeping. Yeah right, as soon as these two get within 10 feet of each other they will immediately start hooking up/hating one another again.
Angelina is under the impression that because Pauly and Situation told her they were going to Miami that they were actually inviting her. And apparently Pauly D hooked up with her in the off season? C’mon Pauly, you are better than that!!
I can’t believe pickles number one fan, Snooki has never heard of fried pickles. A creeper comes over to, well, creep on the ladies with some shots. Snooki says what we’re all thinking “This guy like f***s his sister for a living.”
Their house is amazing, way more “Real Worldish” than their first house…but they still have to sleep 3 to a room in single beds. Really? They couldn’t splurge for queen size beds for these kids? Hello, they pull in most of your ratings MTV! Pauly and Situation get their first, but Angelina makes her awkward entrance next. She does the predictable thing by choosing to sleep in the room with Situation and Pauly. Umm…not exactly what I would want to listen to at night, but to each their own.
Next comes Sammi who is pissed at Angelina for some sh*t she talked, so good thing they don’t have to share a room! Vinny and Ronnie show up, which makes Snooki and J-Woww the last to show up…their plan didn’t work very well. Sammi is so nervous about seeming Ronnie, and in this moment I find myself empathizing and maybe, actually, kind of liking her? They see each other for the first time and hug…of course! Ronnie is too nice to do anything else! These two are not so annoying when they aren’t dating! Please stay single!
Finally, the two best ones arrive! And are super pissed about Angelina being there! DRA-MA! Angelina is the one who needs to reach her hand out…she was the one who left and then talked to anyone that would listen about the other people in the house.
Can we take a moment to comment on how much Snooks and J-Wow have improved their looks? They wear almost normal outfits and have almost normal hair now! I knew you had it in you girls! Then J-Woww spills Ron Ron Juice all over Sammi’s white shorts! Oh no! Not her beloved white shorts!
Snooki’s one-liners in this are amazing. Later I will make a collection of them because they are too wonderful not to all be in one place.
First night out! Here we go! I predict Sammi gets wasted and gets pissed that Ronnie talks to another girl. Then Ronnie gets a serious case of roid rage and “accidentally” breaks Sammi in half…litereally.
I love Sammi’s face while J-Woww is screaming at Angelina in the cab. Sorry, but she deserved it. Why did Angelina think it would be a great idea to come back on this show? Girls hold grudges FOR-EV-ER, so of course these girls still hate you.
The Situations shirt looks like something from Express…the women’s side of Express. Oh goodie, we are back to the Sammi and Ronnie that nobody likes. That lasted all of 48 minutes. They’ll most likely be back together at the end of the episode, they always are. I love that you can see cameras flashing wherever they go. Oh those paparazzi, capturing their every move for us!
Ronnie makes the rational decision to continue to drink and dance and make out with the most disgusting girls in Miami. Angelina is naturally already plotting on how she is going to play everyone against each other. That’s the way to win friends!
WHAT?! It’s already over?!
This season..well I’m too lazy to type it out, so here’s the video:
Last season:
They beat up the beat, GTLed, hooked up with grenades, conquered the duck phone, had annoying fights, got punched in the face by a man (or a woman if you’re the Situation) and basically just got wasted and acted like wasted people.
Okay, so we all know…they are going to Miami because you can’t send people to the Jersey Shore in the middle of winter. Road trip time!
Snooki has a boyfriend! (Whom she has already broken up with.) However he seems like a catch, he even does her spray tan for her! Also, her poof has gotten bigger. I didn’t know that was possible, but it is. Snooki driving is hilarious. She looks like a grandma sitting up against the wheel.
Meanwhile, the Situation is wearing an Ed Hardy Halloween costume, or something.
Sammi has decided to go by “Sammi Single” now, clever! Ronnie is still drinking Ron-Ron juice (is that a registered trademark yet?) and is planning on creeping. Yeah right, as soon as these two get within 10 feet of each other they will immediately start hooking up/hating one another again.
Angelina is under the impression that because Pauly and Situation told her they were going to Miami that they were actually inviting her. And apparently Pauly D hooked up with her in the off season? C’mon Pauly, you are better than that!!
I can’t believe pickles number one fan, Snooki has never heard of fried pickles. A creeper comes over to, well, creep on the ladies with some shots. Snooki says what we’re all thinking “This guy like f***s his sister for a living.”
Their house is amazing, way more “Real Worldish” than their first house…but they still have to sleep 3 to a room in single beds. Really? They couldn’t splurge for queen size beds for these kids? Hello, they pull in most of your ratings MTV! Pauly and Situation get their first, but Angelina makes her awkward entrance next. She does the predictable thing by choosing to sleep in the room with Situation and Pauly. Umm…not exactly what I would want to listen to at night, but to each their own.
Next comes Sammi who is pissed at Angelina for some sh*t she talked, so good thing they don’t have to share a room! Vinny and Ronnie show up, which makes Snooki and J-Woww the last to show up…their plan didn’t work very well. Sammi is so nervous about seeming Ronnie, and in this moment I find myself empathizing and maybe, actually, kind of liking her? They see each other for the first time and hug…of course! Ronnie is too nice to do anything else! These two are not so annoying when they aren’t dating! Please stay single!
Finally, the two best ones arrive! And are super pissed about Angelina being there! DRA-MA! Angelina is the one who needs to reach her hand out…she was the one who left and then talked to anyone that would listen about the other people in the house.
Can we take a moment to comment on how much Snooks and J-Wow have improved their looks? They wear almost normal outfits and have almost normal hair now! I knew you had it in you girls! Then J-Woww spills Ron Ron Juice all over Sammi’s white shorts! Oh no! Not her beloved white shorts!
Snooki’s one-liners in this are amazing. Later I will make a collection of them because they are too wonderful not to all be in one place.
First night out! Here we go! I predict Sammi gets wasted and gets pissed that Ronnie talks to another girl. Then Ronnie gets a serious case of roid rage and “accidentally” breaks Sammi in half…litereally.
I love Sammi’s face while J-Woww is screaming at Angelina in the cab. Sorry, but she deserved it. Why did Angelina think it would be a great idea to come back on this show? Girls hold grudges FOR-EV-ER, so of course these girls still hate you.
The Situations shirt looks like something from Express…the women’s side of Express. Oh goodie, we are back to the Sammi and Ronnie that nobody likes. That lasted all of 48 minutes. They’ll most likely be back together at the end of the episode, they always are. I love that you can see cameras flashing wherever they go. Oh those paparazzi, capturing their every move for us!
Ronnie makes the rational decision to continue to drink and dance and make out with the most disgusting girls in Miami. Angelina is naturally already plotting on how she is going to play everyone against each other. That’s the way to win friends!
WHAT?! It’s already over?!
This season..well I’m too lazy to type it out, so here’s the video:
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